WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
