he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
