Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
