all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
