Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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