____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
