Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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