apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
