I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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