This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you would pick up someone in the library
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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