I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
