What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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