I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
