I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
