I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize