I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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