do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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