It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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