New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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