flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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