i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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