the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
