Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
