Why are handjobs necessary in class?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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