the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
