Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
