I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize