The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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