i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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