Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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