Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He did a backflip because drugs
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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