I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
