Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
