none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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