I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
