it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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