Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
