break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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