Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize