if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
