Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
