walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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