Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She told me I should be a condom model.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
