Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize