U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
