I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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