She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
