All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize