But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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