My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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