I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
