remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
