'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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