It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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