even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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