Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
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