He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
