You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
