Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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