i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
