I bet he comes in French.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
