Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm getting married
To pizza
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
