Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize