Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
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Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
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I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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