mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize