i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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