Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
