I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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