If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
