yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
